we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
