Dual....:-)
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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