The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
