We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
