i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
