just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
