I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
