KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
