i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
