i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
