Don't make out with my wife yet
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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