He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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