Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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