yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
