You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
