life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you didnt know i had herpes?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
