Can Purell be used as lube?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
