Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I want to be your penis for a week.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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