It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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