i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
