frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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