what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
