Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
