The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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