fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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