on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
