My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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