playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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