I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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