You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
