PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
