Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
