my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think people are normalizing furries
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