I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
