She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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