return my video game
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
