He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
