I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
