I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
