Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
