I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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