Whod you bang
Someone shit on the floor
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
