I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
