Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
