he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
