Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
