no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
