Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize