she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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