winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
