Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
