She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
