so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
