Can i not drive my cunt home
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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