Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
